Telling Yourself it's okay
by Sakura kura
Summary: *PART TWO UP* A certian someone has gone a little crazy, and gets very jealous read and review!
1. Part 1

Telling Yourself it's okay  
  
Do you ever get the feeling something' watching you? As if someone kept watching you, following you. And when you least expect it, it starts.  
  
What? You don't know what I mean? I don't know what I'm talking about? Why, my young child, I am, of course, talking about ones self. For you see, the strongest thing in the world is ones mind.  
  
Nothing has ever been able to break any ones self mind. Sure over the years I've seen people's fear slowly disintegrate, laughter fade off into nothiness, tears turn to joy, and joy turn to fear. But the experience know most by me is all the love in my life breaking apart, and slowly leaving me.  
  
Now you also ask, how do you stalk yourself? Why that's not hard at all. The people here say it was only possible because I'm crazy, but no.  
  
All the feelings turned into hatred. And I felt as if every one hated me, even my conscious. That's why it told me to do it, I had to, I had to do it, I couldn't stand it anymore. It kept yelling at me, I don't like when people yell. It said, 'Kill him, kill him, you have to, or he'll always be there standing in your way, in front of your goal, laughing at you, KILL HIM!"  
  
So know you know where I got the idea from, you must think I'm crazy. What's that, speak up? Oh yea? That's good, I'm glad I know you don't think I'm crazy.  
  
Pardon? Another question eh? You do ask a lot don't you? No no, it's okay. This started back when we were in grade, hmmm let me think, when we were in grade four, yes, that's it.  
  
When we were in grade four, the four of us, Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Meilin would always sit together for lunch. Those were very very happy times, indeed they were.  
  
I never quite noticed how much they were together, I mean, I now they had to card cards and what not, but even after that. I seemed to be the only one who notice, well that is, Tomoyo and Meilin noticed. Sakura didn't even notice.  
  
Oh no, I'm sorry did I forget, and I just kept continuing, I'm sorry, my name is, Tomoyo.  
  
Oh anyway, they were so close, and at first it was cute, and it was good for the camera, but after a while, it was just, more than that.  
  
So, for the short little while, while it seemed to be a phase, I chose to think of it as an on screen love affaire, hoping that's all it would be.  
  
You know, like a crush you get over. But I guess I lost that bet. This thing continued day in and day out. For the longest time I did nothing. He'd look at her and blush, she wouldn't notice, and I'd giggle, because she's so cute in that way.  
  
After some three years, he finally told her. She was so shocked, and so was I. I was hoping nothing would happen.  
  
My dream of that crush fading away shattered the minute I heard it. I tried to reassure my self it was a dream, you know try to pick up the pieces, but they just broke into smaller pieces and all hope was lost for me.  
  
That's when my conscious started stalking me. Telling me to kill him. For to years after her told her I neglected the feelings, but then, after they had been going out for 2 years, I just burst. I couldn't stand it anymore.  
  
One night I called up Syaoran and asked if I could come over, to talk to him, you know a little one on one. He immidly agreed and asked me to come over in half an hour.  
  
I went to his house and we started talking. We drank tea, his last drink. I purposely drank really fast to get it over with. "OH I'll get some more" I got up to get some more, he tried to do it him self but I insisted. For some 5 minutes I had to make up some fake problems about school.  
  
I got some tea and came into the room, Syaoran was sitting, face back to the way I came in. I ever so slowly and quietly walked up behind him.  
  
Leaning over him, he didn't even notice me. I poured my tea on his lap and when he jumped up in pain I grabbed my fist a jabbed my elbow in to his lower back, which hit just the right spot and paralyzed him from the waist down. Okay so I had been practicing a bit, sew me. But the ironic thing about this, was that Syaoran showed me this, because he said 'a pretty girl like your self needs to know self defense.' And he got carried away.  
  
While he fell to the ground he flipped around. Looking up with his dark brown eyes, I could see him pleading with pain inside. I could see his life flashing before his eyes.  
  
I then took out I knife and a slash here a slash there and he's dead.  
  
Now why did I paralyze him first? Because he's very, I mean, he was very smart, and could have killed me in the blink of an eye. As soon as I wipe off a few fingerprints, I grabbed a suitcase I had brought over, and left, I took a plain ride to where I am now. Yes, then I went here, to the insane asylum. Because they can't put people who are crazy into prison.  
  
And now I bet your wonder what my friend, as to of which I did this for, felt about this? Well Sakura, has no idea I did it, infact, I don't think any one does, except you. Now, you wouldn't tell would you, because you know, I signed in here, I can sign out.  
  
Authors Notes: So I hope you liked it. Review it, I want feed pack, yes this is only a one chapter thing, please review. Was it good? Please review and check out my other stories. 


	2. Part 2

Telling Yourself It's Okay  
  
Part two: A different point of view of events  
  
A/U: Part two of telling your self it's okay. So read, enjoy and please review. Thanks to those who reviewed before, Boogie pop and Chrisie B!  
  
Hi, yes I've heard about you. My friend told me all about you. She said that you talked to her before, must be a very nice person. Yes I'm sure that you are.  
  
Well, I also have a story to tell, you want to hear it? You do! That's just great, I love telling stories! Actually maybe you don't want to hear it, I'm sure you'd be very bored. You heard a story from her? Her side of the story? Well then I'm sure you'd like mine to, let's see where to start. Oh yes, I think I know just where to start, the beginning is always a good place, don't you agree?  
  
This story of mine started back in grade four. It was a great year, full of some surprises that even I can't explain, but lots of magic might I add. I had some great friends, and I knew everyone in my class, everything was great.  
  
I had good grades, I was pretty smart you know, not that I could ever amount to anything now, I mean look where I am. So many years of school and for what? Nothing, that's what, I wanted to become I teacher, and I loved teachers so much.  
  
I always tried so hard in school. It was very important to me. And then with all my smarts I couldn't figure out that biggest problem. Well I'll get to that later.  
  
Oh my, I'm so sorry threw out all this story telling I never got to telling you my name, not a good introduction I have. Please don't hold it against me. But anyway, I am they one they call Cherry, I am Sakura Kinomoto, a pleasure to meet you. No really, not many people visit me, so I'm glad you would come.  
  
Anyway it started when I fell in love. Who else? He fell in love with me! Yes he did. I didn't even notice, I was so dense, well I still am but I think its okay. He loved me and things seemed perfect. But someone didn't like it. Some one was so mad because of that.  
  
They were so mad with him. I was in love and they couldn't take it. I didn't even notice. Well she then did the worse thing possible; she killed him, that's right. She killed him, if she couldn't have him, no one could. My whole life was over when I found out. So I had to come here because who wants half a person roaming the streets.  
  
And now that I'm in here, I can't hurt anyway, because I want to kill her. If I could just get my hands on her neck. But no, that's not right. I shouldn't kill her.  
  
She tried to talk to me but it was while I was in here and so I couldn't hurt her. I Yelled and screamed I tried to kill her, though she was on the other side of the glass. She was scared, she ran off, I haven't seen her since. She sent me a letter once after, but I don't think I'd like to open it any time soon, if ever.  
  
Don't you know who I'm talking about? The one who killed him I am, yes. I'm talking about Meilin Li. She's the one that killed him, I know she did. They did an investigation but she was innocent. I knew she did it, I know she did.  
  
But now it's too late, she's left the country, went back to Hong Kong. She had such a fake act when I last saw her. Meilin was crying and wearing black, you know pretending to be sad. I knew she was glad I was in the insane asylum; she was glad I was mad, sad and empty because he was gone.  
  
We had such plans for the future. We were going to get married, he proposed, look here's the ring. Do you like it? Yea, just three days before he died he gave it to me. Yup, and we were going to have three kids. Yup, a girl, then a boy then another girl. Well, that's what we were hoping for.  
  
He said we could move into the city after school, then after a year or so, we'd move out to the country somewhere. That was to be our life in a nut shell, and then the shell was broken. And here I am now, at least I have my friend Tomoyo, she's here for me. She was in here just before I was. Tomoyo said that it was because it was Syaoran too. The poor girl was friends with him too. I'm glad I have to hang around her too. She's so nice to me.  
  
Oh my, look at the time, lunch starts in a few minutes. I'm to meet Tomoyo there, she's a real friend, she'd never hurt me like Meilin. But anyway, it's been good to talk to you. I'm glad you visited me. I haven't talked to some out side of here since, her.  
  
But never mind her now. You come back and I'll tell you about some other things before that. I have quite some stories to tell, if you'll listen. You will? That's great, I'm so happy to have friends like you and Tomoyo! I'll see you later, good bye for now then.  
  
A/N: Well that's like the second part to telling your self its okay. There wasn't to be another part, but here it is! SO review Please, and check out my other stories ^-^ 


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